I am now 5 days into my first chemo cycle and today I woke up so much happier. I couldn't remember when the last time I moved my bowels, but I knew that it had been over three days today, minimum. If nothing happened today, I would be ringing the hospital. I mentioned this to Leonie as I woke up, she was a little concerned as diarrhoea and constipation are listed as sideaffects, and when they hit triggers, you may need to be admitted to hospital. Today was the trigger day in my mind. I sat over my bowl of cereals and contemplated the prospect of a stay in hospital, so soon in my chemo. I didn't contemplate too long as soon I was rushing upstairs. A while later I came back downstairs with a beaming smile. I felt so relieved, and light! This one act put me in such a good mood for the rest of the day. Off to work I went.
Karyn at work has been great, I have been doing shorter days, about 9.30-4.30, and she has been more than happy to accomodate this. I now even have a car park space about 2 feet from the front door in case I need to leave, work have been great. One of the other team leaders, Luke, came over and said I looked a bit red. This had been a theme for the last couple of days. The joke was that I probably look healthier than ever, with a nice red glow, in reality it's probably increased blood pressure making my skin flush red. But Luke seemed more than concerned about this flush. A quick temperature check (36.7 celcius) and then some time spent outside to cool down. While we were outside, Luke said he was genuinely worried about my colour and went on to say that I was a nuclear disaster waiting to happen with all the drugs. I found that very funny.
In the evening, it was Oscar's parent evening at school. The teachers were so pleased with him, and this makes you happy and proud as a parent. Our instructions from his teachers were to challenge him more with problems at home, simple maths and writing. He loves that kind of stuff, so hopefully after my operation, when I have some time at home, we can work on building his confidence and help him reach his potential, he is such a bright lad, like his dad really (lol). On our way out of school Miss Carter, the headmistress, came out to see us. I again felt like a celebrity, she put her arm around me and was geniuniely interested and had a sympathetic ear to my story so far, she asked some questions and then mentioned that we shouldn't worry about Oscar, they would ensure he was ok during school. Speaking to people like this and hearing kind words really does ease my mind, especially where the kids are involved.
I continued at work on Thursday and Friday as usual on a slightly reduced day but still working. At the moment I feel great, although the last two days I have had an unusual feeling. It's like an opposite phantom stomach feeling. I have been so hungry (as opposed to the decreased appetite at the beginning of the week) and whatever or however much I eat I am still hungry. It's like the food has found a black hole and its disappearing somewhere. I thought I best check my weight, so I weighed myself and found that for the first time ever, I had breached the 9 stone barrier, I was officially the heaviest I had ever been, I have become fat, there will be no end to my misery (I know I'm far from fat, but I hope this rate of weight gain doesn't continue, mainly for the sake of my wardrobe).
Friday is always a bit more relaxed than other days at work, and I managed to leave early. We had planned to travel south for my brother-in-laws 40th. I had asked not to drive, so John (father-in-law) had agreed to drive me and Leonie's mum was driving Leonie and the boys. It will be good to get away for a break, hopefully I will stay fit for the weekend. My biggest worry at the moment is that the doctors, and everything I have read, have stated that the second week of the cycle is the worst part. I just hope that I can cope with it as easily as this week has been. They also mentioned that the treatment is compounded, so will gradually get worse over time. I am worried about it, but again Leonie is there on my shoulder telling me not to worry, I can beat this and will deal with it as I always deal with things, with a smile on my face, I intend to do it that way.
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